Sharing Session Success and William's First Bike Ride
What I Said:
No special tasks today except my sharing session this morning. It was an event of Atlassian Community Event in TAIPEI. I was so excited to share my experiences about assets management solutions. Prepared 30 pages slides for it. And used ChatGPT to improve the scripts. From 10:00 to 12:00, about two hours duration, we successfully completed this event. I planned to teach William to ride bike afternoon. It was the first day he rides without training wheels. He was so smart, just spent few minutes to made it. Few hours later, he already could ride around the field of the village.
ChatGPT’s Revision:
No special tasks today except my sharing session this morning. It was part of the Atlassian Community Event in Taipei, and I was so excited to share my experiences with asset management solutions. I prepared a 30-slide deck and used ChatGPT to refine my scripts. From 10:00 to 12:00, the event lasted about two hours, and we successfully completed it. In the afternoon, I planned to teach William to ride a bike. It was his first time riding without training wheels, and he was so smart—he got the hang of it in just a few minutes. A few hours later, he was already riding around the field in the village. What a day!
Fixes and Explanations:
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“No special tasks today except my sharing session this morning”
Kept as is; it’s a clear and natural opening.
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“It was an event of Atlassian Community Event in TAIPEI” → “It was part of the Atlassian Community Event in Taipei”
Simplified and adjusted for smoother phrasing. Changed “TAIPEI” to “Taipei” for consistency.
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“I was so excited to share my experiences about assets management solutions” → “I was so excited to share my experiences with asset management solutions”
“With” is the correct preposition in this context.
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“Prepared 30 pages slides for it” → “I prepared a 30-slide deck for it”
“30-slide deck” is more concise and commonly used in professional contexts.
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“And used ChatGPT to improve the scripts” → “and used ChatGPT to refine my scripts”
“Refine” is more polished than “improve.”
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“From 10:00 to 12:00, about two hours duration, we successfully completed this event” → “From 10:00 to 12:00, the event lasted about two hours, and we successfully completed it”
Rephrased for clarity and smoother flow.
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“I planned to teach William to ride bike afternoon” → “In the afternoon, I planned to teach William to ride a bike”
Added “In the” for correct phrasing and smoother sentence structure.
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“It was the first day he rides without training wheels” → “It was his first time riding without training wheels”
“First time riding” is more natural than “first day he rides.”
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“He was so smart, just spent few minutes to made it” → “He was so smart—he got the hang of it in just a few minutes”
“Got the hang of it” is a common idiom for learning quickly. Corrected “to made it” to “to get it.”
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“Few hours later, he already could ride around the field of the village” → “A few hours later, he was already riding around the field in the village”
Added “A” for grammatical correctness and rephrased for smoother flow.
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Added: “What a day!”
Ends the tweet on a positive and enthusiastic note.