What I Said:

William told me he had a dream last night. In the dream, he was in the kindergarten with his classmates and teachers. They were playing and running. And he walked into a corner which he wasn’t familiar with. Then he heard a voice, like “KONGKONG”, he felt so scared and ran away. He didn’t see anything. At last, he was awake.

ChatGPT’s Revision:

William told me he had a dream last night. In the dream, he was at kindergarten with his classmates and teachers. They were playing and running around. He walked into a corner he wasn’t familiar with, then heard a sound, like ‘KONGKONG.’ He felt so scared and ran away. He didn’t see anything. Finally, he woke up.

Fixes and Explanations:

  • “he was in the kindergarten” → “he was at kindergarten”

    In English, we generally say “at kindergarten” rather than “in the kindergarten.”

  • “with his classmates and teachers”

    This part is perfect as it is—clear and straightforward.

  • “They were playing and running” → “They were playing and running around”

    “Running around” sounds more natural than just “running,” especially when describing children playing.

  • “And he walked into a corner which he wasn’t familiar with.” → “He walked into a corner he wasn’t familiar with.”

    Starting a sentence with “And” is fine in spoken language, but in written English, it’s usually better to avoid it. Removed “And” to make the sentence smoother.

  • “Then he heard a voice, like ‘KONGKONG’, he felt so scared and ran away.” → “Then he heard a sound, like ‘KONGKONG.’ He felt so scared and ran away.”

    “Voice” might imply someone speaking, but since it’s not clear if it was a voice, “sound” works better. Also, split the sentence for clarity.

  • “He didn’t see anything.”

    This part is fine as it is—clear and to the point.

  • “At last, he was awake.” → “Finally, he woke up.”

    “Finally” is more natural than “At last” in this context. “Woke up” sounds better than “was awake,” which would typically be used in a different structure.