Connecting Over Assets Data Manager
What I Said:
I posted some words about Assets Data Manager with a screenshot of my slides which I’m preparing for data management sharing. After Tom reposted it, Mike — the founder of DM, connected with me. I was a little on edge because I’m not a good talker and my bad English. I wrote some messages and updated them through ChatGPT, hope communication won’t be worse.
ChatGPT’s Revision:
I posted some thoughts about Assets Data Manager along with a screenshot of the slides I’m preparing for a data management sharing session. After Tom reposted it, Mike — the founder of DM — reached out to me. I felt a bit nervous because I’m not a great talker and my English isn’t very good. I wrote some messages and polished them with ChatGPT, hoping to keep the communication smooth.
Fixes and Explanations:
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“posted some words about” → “posted some thoughts about”
“Thoughts” sounds more natural and expressive than “words” in this context.
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“which I’m preparing for data management sharing” → “I’m preparing for a data management sharing session”
Clarified “sharing” as a “session” for smoother phrasing.
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“Mike — the founder of DM, connected with me” → “Mike—the founder of DM—reached out to me”
“Reached out” is more conversational and commonly used in American English.
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“I was a little on edge because I’m not a good talker and my bad English” → “I felt a bit nervous because I’m not a great talker and my English isn’t very good”
“On edge” is fine but “felt a bit nervous” fits better. Adjusted “bad English” to “my English isn’t very good” for a more polite tone.
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“I wrote some messages and updated them through ChatGPT” → “I wrote some messages and polished them with ChatGPT”
“Polished” sounds more intentional and professional than “updated.”
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“hope communication won’t be worse” → “hoping to keep the communication smooth”
“Won’t be worse” is negative; rephrased it to sound more optimistic.